Wednesday, November 11, 1998

The Best Laid Plan of Guys and Hens

Some would say I deserve a standing ovation. Others would prefer you didn’t egg me on. Either way, regarding our half-baked idea, here’s how it boils down:

The plot of this story is a simple one: a case of boy meets chicken, boy loses chicken, boy finds chicken.
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The Best Laid Plans of Guys and Hens
Creative Treatment Draft 1


Act I
Our protagonist, a farm-hand named Monty, begins a relationship with a chicken. The chicken is the most beautiful he has ever seen — poultry in motion.

Act II
Monty runs afoul of the chicken farmer, Captain Pullet, who disapproves of the relationship. Cap Pullet tries to keep them apart, to no avail. At the end of the second act, he sells the chicken to a fast-food chicken chain in an effort to break them up.

Act III
Monty, thinking she has flown the coop, searches for his one true love, but she is nowhere to be found. Finally, exhausted and hungry, he stops in the chicken restaurant — where he finds his lover. With slaw.

Monty, overcome with grief, is consoled by the lady behind the counter at the restaurant. They share his chicken meal and top it off by breaking the wishbone together. Monty falls for the girl and all thoughts of the chicken are gone for good. He returns to the farm the cock of the walk. Arm in arm with his new love interest, he introduces her to the family, exclaiming proudly, “Look, Ma — no hens!”

Curtain.