Sunday, May 16, 2010

Twitter Change

I’ve just changed my ID on Twitter
Because I’m that kind of critter.
My words may ring hollow,
But feel free to follow.
Just remember, I’m no heavy hitter.


I changed my Twitter again,
I needed a good nom de … pen.
I know it rings hollow
Since no one will follow,
But now I’m “BobSays.” Amen.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

To Have. And to Hold.

Oh, he liked his romances varied.
For years, a young woman he harried.
A rakish young fellow, made knees turn to Jell-O.
It’s too bad the guy was still married.

“You’re my only true love,” he once told her.
“The sight of you makes my heart smolder.
The thought of your kiss invokes transports of bliss!
From my wife, I get the cold shoulder.”

“Though my marriage is nothing but strife,
I’ll have one more go with my wife.
But if our future’s in doubt, I’ll come try you out.
And you know I commit for life.”

“It’s over — I am no longer wed.
And when everything’s all done and said,
There’s no need for remorse, it’s a happy divorce,
And I’d rather be with you instead.”

“I’m afraid that I’ve changed my mind.
How could I be so stupid and blind?
You were only a fad; my wife’s not that bad,
And our fates are surely entwined.”

“Oh! What a mistake I have made.
You are the one I’ve betrayed!
It’s over … it’s through, because next to you
My wife just can’t make the grade.”

“I don’t know! I just can’t decide.
My One True Love or my bride?
Oh, why can’t I roam — have a wife safe at home
And still keep you on the side?”

“No … it’s you that I want, I am sure,
So lovely and chaste and demure.
I’ll do whatever it takes — my heart, how it aches! —
I am certain our love can endure.”

“I’ll woo you with flowers and song.
You know I can do nothing wrong.
Here’s my plan of attack: you keep coming back,
And I’ll continue to string you along.”

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Limerick Junction

A limerick is a quaint little verse
Which requires one to keep one’s words terse.
It’s a poetic device
That keeps thoughts concise
With rhymes that are clearly perverse.

And away we go! ...

I thought I was the short poem master
But my hubris has been brought to disaster
For this delicious confection
Of ironic introspection
Shows me your poetic leetness is much vaster.

Of course I can’t be outdone,
But I welcome a partner in fun.
For it would be grand
Our scope to expand
And two heads are better than one.

I’d gladly submit a donation
Of my poems for your consideration
But a fear leaps to mind
Our talents combined
Might lead to poetic abomination.

The damage is already done
And gets worse with each single pun.
I bow to the master,
Your vocab is vaster.
Can you finish what we have begun?

Linda F.  
So much for linguistic gymnastics
It would seem that the ultimate fact is
That I am the greatest
Albeit the latest
Let’s face it, my rhyme is fantastic.

Welcome to our little word game.
Come try to put our verses to shame.
We’ll give you a chance
To make your words dance
’Cause your rhymes aren’t bad for a dame. 

Linda G.  
There once was a dame from Nantucket
She wrote rhymes, played guitar, hell she plucked it.
Sometimes she did rob
Her dear friend we’ll call Bob
Who always just said ... “What the fuck it!”

It’s true! You always feel free
To take anything you might see.
When you’re in the groove
It just goes to prove
Neither a borrower nor Linda be.

What is this, the amateur hour?
Come, witness my lim’ricking pow’r!
I’ve learned from my wife
There’s no better po’try in life
Than a limerick, so y’all should go’n cower.

Our talent is just playing possum,
I’m sure one day it will blossom.
But, until then
We’d do well to ken
Our buddy Dan Shields is still awesome.

Two punsters named Bob and Joe
Wrote limericks highbrow and low.
They dueled with the word
Till nothing was heard
But laughter from people they know.

How we parry and how we riposte
To see who can lim’rick the most.
And on Joe’s behalf,
I say have a good laugh!
And, with my permission, re-post.

So I tried to take your suggestion
And repost this limerick confection
But software’s perverse
And the original verse
Is all that made the transition.

The writing we’ve done was so brisk
That I just couldn’t accept the risk
That Facebook would eat
Or somehow delete,
So I saved whole corpus to disk.

This is interesting, I’ll admit,
Though so difficult that I could spit.
So I’m glad I’m not in
Singapore. Then again,
I would likely be thrown in a pit.

Now I’m tired and going to bed
As this contest has messed with my head
There are images twirling
And I feel like hurling.
Then again, could be lies, what I’ve said.

Your foresight in saving this thread
Shows that you think ahead.
Now I can link
To this post, I think.
The fun will be simpler to spread.

I love this contest of Rhyming
I copied each verse
It was morosely perverse
But you need to practice the timing.

We established a poetic rapport
And created some verses hardcore.
Your response was dismaying,
And thank you for playing,
Your rhymes were really top drawer.