Monday, November 19, 2007

Correspondence: November 19, 2007

To a Friend in Australia:

Yeah, “Lucky” is my friend, but don’t hold that against me. I’d say we go back to the ’70s together, but that’s not strictly true. We met in the ’70s, then came forward to the 21st century together, instead. I guess Steven Hawking would say it’s the same thing. He’s good, but sometimes I can see his lips move.

You, know ... now that I think about it, in the 4th grade (sometime around 1975) I signed up for a Pen Pal program through school and was assigned a kid from Australia named “Geoff.” I never wrote to him. So, if you run into “Geoff,” tell him I’m sorry I never wrote, and I hope he’s doing well.

At any rate, I hope all is well and y’all have a good time this week doing whatever y’all do instead of Thanksgiving.

I can’t believe it! You have the same T-giving tradition that I do! But mine involves Jagermeister. I don’t normally bring in the religious aspect until later in the evening when I hang my head over the toilet and say, “Oh, God!” a lot.

I was going to sign my last note, “Your Little Southern Friend, Bob” but then I realized you’re way farther south than I am and you might find that insulting. And since you haven’t been steeped in our culture (or lack of it), it wouldn’t make that much impression on you, anyway. So, instead, I’ll just slip in a “y’all” or “yessir” here and there, or maybe the occasional “hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!” for verisimilitude. I’ll shuck, but I won’t jive.