Correspondence: August 13-18, 2007

August 13, 2007

… My sister is going out of town for four days and wants me to be around for the 15-year-old (and, possibly, the 18-year-old). I guess my main task is to make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble or have people over, or whatever she does at her age. I’d bring my own Jager, but I guess I shouldn’t if I’m the only adult in the house and the only one who can drive. I should be responsible. (The girl sure is cutting into my drinking time, though.)


August 14, 2007

… I’m on the job. The sister left her laptop, but I’m not digging this keyboard. She did not leave money for food, so we went and got fixin’s for sandwiches from the Shell station at the corner. My sister is a smoker and the dog seems not to be housebroken, so I got some incense, too. I’ll come with cash tomorrow, so we can at least get a bucket of chicken.

What do 15-year-old girls like to talk about? I’ve got all sorts of stories about the great grandparents she never met, but the boyfriend might not get into that. What do 15-16-year-old boys talk about, for that matter? All my friends were old when I was that age, so I learned to have intelligent conversations. Not so with this guy. And clever wordplay is definitely out. I may have to hit the wine just to dumb down a little.


August 15 , 2007

… I don’t have much time right now, but here is my report to my sister from tonight:

I am the most hated person in your house right now.

I didn’t let the girl stay overnight at “Squishy’s” house with a bunch of other kids. To the credit of the hoodlums she was hanging out with, once she realized I would not let her stay, they drove her right home. Fifteen minutes ahead of schedule.

She has now locked herself in her room. I’ve never seen her be a surly teenager. Good to see she has it in her.

I just got the phone back from her. A production of unlocking the door, opening it a crack, giving me the phone and closing and locking the door.

Little does she know, this goes on her permanent record. I add this to my niece/nephew file right away.


I can’t type much because of this stupid keyboard, so I’ll catch you up later.

For now, I’ll tell you that I did say something along the lines of, “You have to come home tonight, but tell Squishy that next week he and his friends can come hang out with me.” I’m real popular with the Marietta teens right now.

I never thought I would hear my niece say, “And I thought you were cool!”

I also never expected ever to hear myself say, “Because I’m the grown-up”; “Because I said so”; “You’ll understand some day”; “When I was your age ...” And I thought I sold my soul when I buttoned down my button downs and went to work for Coke!

She’s asleep now, bless her little heart. Unless she snuck out the window.

Hmmmm ... I seem to remember sneaking out the window every night the summer I was 13 or so. I never did evil things. Just rode my bike around the neighborhood with a pal til all hours. She’s probably just as harmless, but I’m the grown-up and I said so.


August 18, 2007

… It’s over. I left the kids on Saturday. The plan was for me to take the 15-year-old to spend the night with my mother on Saturday, but she didn’t want to go. She got my sister on the phone and asked if she could hang out with friends instead. When I spoke with my sister, she said, “I don’t care where she goes as long as the dog is fed and walked.” O.K. That’s an easy one. Put out food, walk the dog and “bye-bye.” I hope the girl was able to eat the rest of the weekend.

Correspondence: August 12, 2007

Ehh ... The mother is ill right now. My sister had to pick her up from church because she was puking. I came over a little later. My tasks were:

“Yoo Hoo!”
“What?”
“Can you let the cats in?”

“Yoo Hoo!”
“What?”
“Can you find me my book? It’s the one with no spine and no name between a white binder and a black binder.”

“Yoo Hoo!”
“What?”
“They said I needed Ginger Ale. And I need more cat food. I have $20 in my wallet”
“Is CVS O.K.?”
“They don’t have the cat food I want. Yeah, that’s O.K.”

So, I’m on my way to CVS.