Monday, March 8, 2010

I Kid You Not (Revised Version)

I’ve never had a wife or child
Though I’m over forty now.
I’d love to let my genes run wild
But, danged if I know how.

But, I saw a girl I used to know
Then I went and chased her.
“Don’t run away! I’m friend, not foe …
Come, use my turkey baster!”

“Come back to me, my One True … Like.
I only wish to procreate!
I need someone to bear my tyke …
Come back before you ovulate!”

“Oh, I sense some hesitation.
This has ever been my doom!
I didn’t make a reservation
And you have a private womb.”


So my seed remains unsown.
I guess I’ll never reproduce.
Parental joys remain unknown
And I’ll die an old recluse.

4 comments:

Diana Watson, Writer said...

And you'll never know the joys of being peed, puked, shat on. Parenthood is glamorous.

Reid Andwright said...

I uncled six kids. I've had any number of disagreeable fluids on me. Some of which I couldn't even identify.

UnBecca Pissypants said...

this is one of my favorites!

Reid Andwright said...

You were instrumental and inspirational on this one.