Monday, March 8, 2010

I Kid You Not (Revised Version)

I’ve never had a wife or child
Though I’m over forty now.
I’d love to let my genes run wild
But, danged if I know how.

But, I saw a girl I used to know
Then I went and chased her.
“Don’t run away! I’m friend, not foe …
Come, use my turkey baster!”

“Come back to me, my One True … Like.
I only wish to procreate!
I need someone to bear my tyke …
Come back before you ovulate!”

“Oh, I sense some hesitation.
This has ever been my doom!
I didn’t make a reservation
And you have a private womb.”

So my seed remains unsown.
I guess I’ll never reproduce.
Parental joys remain unknown
And I’ll die an old recluse.


Diana Watson, Writer said...

And you'll never know the joys of being peed, puked, shat on. Parenthood is glamorous.

Reid Andwright said...

I uncled six kids. I've had any number of disagreeable fluids on me. Some of which I couldn't even identify.

UnBecca Pissypants said...

this is one of my favorites!

Reid Andwright said...

You were instrumental and inspirational on this one.