Sunday, April 27, 2008

Correspondence: April 27, 2008

My mother is pretty gung-ho about her church stuff. But that’s not my cross to bear. I went with her to a Christian book store the other day. There was shelf after shelf of every kind of Bible you can think of and then a small section labeled “Non-Fiction.” I laughed!

Then the checkout lady was ringing up my mother’s purchase, she mentioned several kinds of Bibles and told us that a particular one was just for Jehovah’s Witnesses. And, when she said “Jehovah’s Witnesses,” she rolled her eyes. The very picture of tolerance. Then she said, “I guess they have to have a translation.” I thought, “What the hell do you think yours is, lady?”

I guess what made me think of that was that they don’t just carry Protestant stuff and I saw that you can buy communion wafers there by the box. So, you could take a box up to your niece and nephew and let them commune to their hearts’ content. Unless that’s not kosher.

… So, technically, since they’re unleavened, our Jewish friends could eat the Eucharist during Passover, couldn’t they? I’m going to have to get a box of those to see what they’re like. Would they be good with any kind of spread? They have priest shirts at that store, too. I may get one of those, too, since I can’t have a pope hat.

Conan O’Brien said this week, “It’s been reported that President Bush was so impressed with Pope Benedict’s recent visit, that after he leaves office Bush may convert to Catholicism. Bush said, ‘I’d convert right now, but Dick Cheney freaks out if you get near him with a cross.’”


Keith said...

While i have several unprintable responses, i'll try to keep from getting censored. First, if Jehovah's Witnesses are reading a different Bible than other protestants, that just might explain a few things.

Second, if the cashier was intolerant of others, was she christian?

i know everybody needs a job, but a non-christian in a store which caters to christians seems like a recipe for trouble.

Third, how did your mom con you into going with her?

and finally, communion wafers virtually dissolve on one's tongue. Would they hold up under spreads? 'i put some potted meat on my communion wafers, and now all i have is the potted meat on a plate...'

Reid Andwright said...

It doesn't bother me to go into a Christian book store. I'll go into a hospital when I'm not sick, so why wouldn't I go into a Christian bookstore when I'm not Christian? I'm not going to buy anything. They don't have a Science Fiction section. Wait ... I guess, in a sense, they do. But I'd probably get some dirty looks if I pointed that out to them.