Thursday, October 6, 2005

Why I’m the Perfect Guy

Please indulge me as I reveal my answers to a certain person’s requirements for the perfect guy. (I hope she’s not reading this!)

Somebody who has imperfections and knows it.
I’ve got plenty of imperfections. I’m 39 — I’m getting more imperfections every day. I could enumerate them, but I don’t see why I should; I have imperfections, but I am not defined by them.

Somebody who likes to fly by the seat of their pants and take life by the balls.
I don’t plan ahead and I scratch a lot, does that count? No, really, I take what’s thrown at me and solve the problems as they arise. In general, I’m not the kind of person who is given lemons and makes lemonade … I’m the kind of person lemonade happens to.

Somebody with a kind heart, compassion for those
less fortunate and the desire to be a better person.
I’m a pretty good person, but who couldn’t stand a little polish? I think I have compassion for those less fortunate than myself, but for people of equal fortune, I won’t spare the sarcasm if they deserve it.

Outdoorsy is good, but don’t be over the top about it.
I like the Botanical Gardens and Stone Mountain. I like camping, but not hiking. I don’t fish. Fur kills.

Dressing well is a plus.
I clean up nice but I believe in comfortable footwear.

Chivalry is good.
Of course it’s good. I was brought up to be a gentleman. But, this is the 21st century. If a damsel is really in distress, she should call 911.

Oh, above all, you must love animals!
I like most animals. I’m not crazy about fish or birds. I am well loved by dogs and cats. I have two cats myself. I am also loved by kids and old people. Parents like me and I could talk for hours with your grandparents.

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